Or else you're gonna' get yelled at. Or else you're gonna' get threatened. Or else you're gonna' get punished. Or else you're gonna' get humiliated.
Or else you're gonna' get a "Leroy, what the fuck is this shit here? Does this shit look right to you you fucking idiot?" Or else you're gonna' get a "Leroy, you need a coffee? You better wake the fuck up or else I'm gonna' kick you out of the restaurant." Or else you're gonna' get a "Leroy, get the fuck out. Go home. I don't want to see your face. Actually you know what, take everything off the dry storage and scrub the shelves and walls you fucking meatball." Or else you're gonna' get a "Leroy, you're so goddamn slow. I can pay a blind person to do your job and he's gonna' do it better than you."
Here are a few of my personal favourite lines wtf:
"Leroy you're taking those lamb bones out from that pot like a pussy. GET YOUR LADY FINGERS IN THERE!"
"Leroy, if I was a prostitute I'd fucking pay you to fuck off because you're so fucking slow!"
"What is this shit here? Do it again. Leroy, it's time to break you."
"Leroy, how the fuck do you move that slow? The way you move is like you've got your finger up your ass or something."
"One more time Leroy. I'm losing my patience with you. One more time and I'm gonna' shove my fucking dick into your fucking mouth."
I have to admit. It's a dirty job. Being a cook isn't a single bit glamorous. It ain't TV. What you see on the plate isn't as pretty as it seems from where it came from. When shit hits the fan behind those swinging doors that bridges the dining room and the kitchen, the chef swags the shit at his chef de parties. The chef de parties takes the shit and takes it out on their cooks/apprentices. So wtf do these cooks who are at the bottom of the food chain do? They down it, shut the fuck up, go home and beat their wives/girlfriends. If this is what they call "hierarchy" then I think maybe...there should be more female cooks so that they can go home and beat their husbands WTF
But calm down kids. Aspiring chefs, most kitchens aren't like that these days. In today's kitchens, most of the chefs believe that the best way to get the job done is to have happy cooks that can tough and rough it out with a smile. So rest assured wtf.
As for me, I'm a fucking idiot wtf or rather, a masochist. There's so much to learn from this tyrant and the proprietor of this restaurant I think I'll be beating my girlfriend for a couple more years WTF
10:45 PM
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"........................"
I held her even tighter as a droplet slowly trickled down onto my chin. It was a brisk motion when she looked up at me but then it was calmly depressing when she lowered her head back onto my chest, except this time she burried her face to hide her emotions.
The ticking became faint and the night went on with raindrops landing on the window sill. We remained silent. We didn't say a single word.
We couldn't.
2:06 AM
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Today, I have lost my manhood wtf.
Sigh wtf. It took me over a year to grow my Symbol of Manliness to that length, but it took me a couple of seconds to get a castration wtf.
Sigh wtf. As a consolation, at least now I've got a beard wtf
or a moustache wtf
or an Around The World wtf
Sigh. Sad day :( wtf
12:26 AM
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I find pooping to be really therapeutic wtf. Every single time I bomb the white throne, I would go at it at my own sweet pace and spend at least 10 minutes releasing my load of stress. Many people might find that 10 minutes to be a waste of time because they think they're not doing anything constructive; instead, they think they're being destructive wtf. But over the years, I've surveyed quite a number of people about what the heck do they do when they're shitting, and I've found that some people did spend their downtime quite wisely. Of course, I'm one of the wise ones too wtf.
1. Read books wtf
Yeah yeah I know it's really mainstream. I know almost everyone does it and it's a really common thing to do. But c'mon, at least it's constructive wtf. What better way to make use of some free time than to read food magazines wtf. Appetizing.
2. Play video games
I promise, it gets better. I know this shit is unoriginal and dry, but I'm just being practical here wtf. Play some Final Fantasy Tactics on your PSP or Cooking Mama on your DS. It's a good way to help you procrastinate during exam periods. "I think I'll spend another fifteen minutes in the washroom." When you're done procrastinating, continue studying =) wtf
3. Read shampoo labels
You fucking losers wtf. Just because you feel the need to do something else while discharging shit logs, you pick up the bottle of shampoo on ledge of the bathtub and start reading the label wtf. I bet almost everyone's done it before. Don't deny it, because I know you know what the fuck's Sodium Laureth Sulfate wtf.
4. Make a phonecall
Men especially like to call their moms or girlfriends when dislodging that charged up load of shit because that's the only time they deserve to be spoken to wtf. Women don't talk on the phone when contracting their assholes because they know they'll get laughed at because of the echo wtf.
5. Straightening out the toilet roll
Doesn't it annoy you when the toilet roll is placed in the wrong way? wtf. It should be rolled out towards you and not away from you wtf.
6. Sleep wtf
After a long and tiring day, you reach home and decide to unload some of the weight from your large intestines that you've been carrying around all day before hitting the shower. And then you fall asleep on the ceramic bowl wtf. I can't deny the fact that the washroom is a peaceful place. After all, you've got a good reason to be locked up in a room without having to answer to anyone about having your door locked wtf.
7. Work on an assignment
Just two days ago I completed a take-home test while receiving a couple of backsplashes wtf.
8. Check for lumps wtf
Men would religiously roll about their testicles with their fingers when having poopsicles roll off their ass tract wtf. Now if only women could check their ovaries with their fingers......
9. Trim/shave pubes WTF
Out of all the ones mentioned so far, this is by far the most constructive thing to do when involuntarily cutting shit bricks in half wtf. Not only will the people you're living with be unsuspicious of you trimming your pubes (because they think that you actually shat as soon as they walk into the washroom and smell that scent of rotting rat's fetus wtf right after you're done killing baby rats in the washroom with your stinkbomb), you'll also be saving time and the Earth's resources by using one less flush wtf.
10. Use the laptop
If you're gonna' be spending time topping up the water level in the potty, why not use your laptop while you're at it? Go on Facebook, visit some blogs, or even write a blog post about "10 things to do when shitting" wtf. Or some people even bring their laptop into the washroom just to have some jackoff material *cough Nemo cough!* wtf.
So yeap, that's about it wtf.
What? Expected "11. Masturbate"? wtf wtf. Sorry but that doesn't go on the list. We all know that we can't bloody masturbate and poop at the same time. It's just not physically possible wtf. So when I mentioned about people using their laptops in the washroom, what they usually do is they setup the material first and then go in for the kill after they're done shitting* wtf.
*Special thanks to Nemo for the information WTF
11:49 PM
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1:34 AM
Some Random Shit About Me
Leroy Tan Jin-Shern:
I love chocolate. I think binging on chocolate is so oh my god sexy.
I eat ice-cream during summer. Just the thought of sucking on something cold makes me want to touch myself.
I adore drama/romance movies. I'm a SNAG, that's why crying is my number one sport.
I think you're ugly, so maybe you should learn to shut the front door wtf
Wtf Blogcirc Members
No One Gives a Shit About History, So Why Should You?
Random Pic of The Moment
Cockhead: a noun; a disease you get from chewing too much wtf
Random Dose of WTF
No one really wants to be alone wtf
